My friend, Keith, likes to disect his random myspace emailings. For some reason he gets lots of spam asking him to "view" a posted webcam by some uneducated, hot female (great blog). I have yet to receive any, probably because I am a woman. However, while being online most of the day I get some doosies (that's how we say it in the south). Read the following e-mail I just got:
"At first was i saw you picture as could not understand you your name. I thought god a cute look lady calling her self saucy wow she must be hot. but after looking at all you pictures and see you play football I thought you not saucy baby you gutsy (maybe not a word but for you it a word). You look like a person who likes to take control. "
Yes I am "gutsy". It a word.
This "45 year-old engineer" writes like he does not have the letter 'r' on his keyboard. Being an engineer myself, I like proper spelling and puctuation. It's a pet peeve of mine and I even text message in this manner. I cannot stand the "U"s and "4ever"s I see from other people. A run-on sentence is my kryptonite.
Evidently someone is playing a joke on me at this point. It's the same people in that hard-to-spell/say foreign country who watches Quiet Mouse and I interact on Saucy TV. I can feel them pointing and laughing. I'm waiting on my Geo Metro.
After reading this email, I immediately head to his profile ( Crazy Engineer Guy).
He's into hockey, women, baseball, and "lot" of sex. I can tell because his location is "between her legs". Who is "her"? And does he accept mail at this location? Is she aware that he's emailing other GORGEOUS women (see his friends, they are hot)?
My favorite part of this random email is "You look like a person who likes to take control." This was evidently copied and pasted into this email as it is the only coherent sentence in it. Disecting away, I know this means "I am looking for a Madame who can whip me like no other".
Yes, I can Bob...yes I can.
