Wow...just wow...and stuff

No, I'm not speaking of that Nickelodean show hosted by Marc Summers (who strangely had OCD and hated getting dirty on Double Dare). What happened to "Hey Dude" btw?

Anyway, last night, a bearded man and I went to eat at a restaurant in which I had the O'Tenders and drank my O'Dr. Pepper. While we were eating, a couple next to us got up to leave. All of a sudden I heard a thud as something had fallen to the ground. I didn't automatically look down to see what was there. I assumed it was either a wallet or the bill or chapstick (yes, they make heavy chapstick).

My cohort looked down and started grinning at me. I glanced down to see a box of Durex condoms. The guy who dropped them didn't see them in the middle of the floor...waiting to be gathered and used for later (they hoped). However, his date saw them but chose not to say anything. So what would you do? Do you say "Sir, your Durex condoms are on the floor?" or "Your jimmy hats are in the middle of the aisle?" or "Hey, thanks!" or do you pick them up and ask "Sir, do these size small condoms belong to you?" I didn't see a size, however it would have been funny to out him to everyone around. After saying "Sir" a few times, my date finally got the attention of the lost box of condoms owner. Pointing and saying "I think you dropped something" sufficed. He scooped them up and went on his way. Probably to do it with her. Thank goodness for the bearded man! No glove, no love! No wrappin', no tappin'!

Career Day...and stuff

My football team was recently asked to partake in Career Day at a local elementary school. Four of us decided to go. Sorry to the bugkiller who couldn't quite make it. The theme to this Career Day was "Non-Traditional Careers for Women". Being an engineer and football player, I guess you could say we were "non-traditional".

So we show up, get our visitor pass (Nancy's nametag said Mary for some reason) and went to talk with some 4th and 6th graders. One of the local news anchors was there...how the hell were we going to outdo her? She was cool and even chatted up with us.

So Mary and I teamed up to talk with the 6th graders. LC and Chara took on the 4th graders and even brought presents. Damn. We had three classes over an hour and a half time span.

We were supposed to talk about our career: who, what, how, where, how much you get paid. I think the most common question, however, was "How many touchdown passes have you thrown?" This was directed to Mary. Also they asked about injuries and what our season records were. We even explained football positions.

Mary and I also talked about our engineering careers with the kiddies. We should have told them about how we email each other and check our myspaces all day....but we didn't. We didn't want to give away all of the perks of being behind a computer. I mean, I have nothing to do the rest of today so I'll be surfing the internet. It's why I became an engineer.

After finding out most of the class hated math, I decided to show them a few math tricks I had learned over the years. I bedazzled them.

At the end of class, we instructed everyone to check out our website, www.alabamarenegades.net.... then we mentioned our Myspace. It was like a bomb went off...sixth graders asking us what our Myspace name was....

Future engineers right there...

St. Louis...and stuff

I recently returned from a business trip to St. Louis. I didn't see anyone wearing band-aids on their face so I am assuming it is no longer fashionable there. Here's a quick recap of what I learned.

1. Never wear a Bangkok Thailand, or any other destination, shirt on an airplane. The steward and stewardess on both of my connecting flights asked if I had been there. I only replied "Nope, just got the t-shirt". They proceeded to tell me a story or a quip about Bangkok because they've either worked there or have a fiance from there. Hey buddy, I didn't ask if those pants were from Sears. Just pour my tomato juice and move along.

2. People wear anything, anywhere. Please don't wear camo from head to toe unless you are being deployed. I saw more hammer pants, fanny packs, visors (as in old people visors), and Crocs (ugh!) that one should ever see in a lifetime. In fact, I'm pretty sure I met mine, my mom's, my dad's, and my friend's quotas...so don't worry Dana, I have you covered!

3. There are three types of people who fly. The reader/computer geek, the sleeper, and the I-wanna-make-friends-with-every-person-on-the-flight-talkaholic. People who know me may think I am the friendmaker. Surprise - I'm the sleeper. Unless I'm travelling with a friend, I will not talk to anyone. Unless something needs to be said, I'll shut my eyes and go to a happy place. Unfortunately, I was stuck behind two talkaholics for an hour. They were both aisle seaters so they were constantly being interrupted by the stewardess (who has been to Bangkok btw). I happily sat next to another sleeper though I couldn't fall asleep since I was intrigued with the talkaholic's convo...or rather annoyed because of their verbal volume. One was going to Boston for spring break. She was the quirky type - funky glasses, cardigan, chuck taylors, messy ponytail. Her "friend" was visiting family in Ohio and decided to bring them some eggs. Yes, she whipped out a carton of farm eggs. So between the two, I was stuck in a vortex, whipping around with my arms and legs flailing about hoping to have Auntie Em call me home. Then we landed.

4. The Amish like to travel.I visited The Arch. It was across the street from my hotel so I walked over and purchased a ticket to ride to the top ($10). I wandered around while I waited on my turn to go up. There were gift shops, a free museum (complete with animatronics who told stories; my favorite being the black cowboy), and an old-fashioned mercantile. As I watched visitors coming and going, I witnessed something that amused me. Metal detectors are placed at the entrance. I looked up to witness the Amish (or Mennonites or whoever they were...they had bonnets and beards) set off the metal detector. The first few who went through didn't set it off, but it was that bastard Ezekial (we'll call him Eazy-E) that did. I've also seen these people at the beach, dressed in their long trousers and floor-length dresses wading in the ocean. Those Amish go anywhere (as long as it's by horse)!

I will upload pics as soon as possible. I found something disturbing on a backpack of a traveller but I cannot describe it. I will definitely need help...more to come...