This past weekend started off with a monumental happening: Char actually gave my cd back that she has held hostage for almost three years! Granted I did give her another cd to borrow...we'll see what happens. THANKS!
As you may or may not know, I along with other teammates of mine as well as players from other teams, ventured to Nashville this past weekend to watch the National Women's Football Association's Championship game. Last year, this game was in Pittsburgh. I blogged about it, it's in my archives. No, this one did not have a soundtrack included. I did not get pulled over by police and I did not partake in finding porn...this time.
Last year only three Renegades made it to the big game. This year, we answered the call bringing roughly 15. We didn't bring a football, however, because...well...because instead we had softball equipment. Go figure :)
Prior to reaching our hotel (thanks Carly), we migrated to Academy Sports, cautiously avoiding small woodland creatures who find pleasure in making caravans of women football players brake ever so rapidly to avoid plastering their precious furry heads into the construction-infested highways of Tennessee.
I hate run-on sentences. And I purchased purple shorts. Word.
Checked into hotel and went next door to Wendy's with Char, Jen, and Sarah. For some unknown reason, Wendy's had their entire workforce there...20 or so "workers" though I doubt they did much "work". My favorite was the "worker" who didn't do what her manager asked because "it's hot next to the fryer". It was as if the entire place ran in slow motion. I swore even the flies were fluttering about a little slower than usual.
After stopping for chinese food and coffee, we were all on our way to the game. The field is on the north end of Nashville, home of absolutely nothing. The closest hotel was the Super 8 (thanks again Carly). We pull up and get situated...ready to tailgate. Only one problem, we didn't bring any chairs and had only one tailgate to "tailgate" with. So we venture to the surrounding fans. We make friends with Columbus fans. One *pretty gay guy per Dana* in particular said we had "funny accents". Hello Pot, this is Kettle. He was our buddy all night.
Seeing teams from Ft. Wayne, St. Louis and others caught my eye. I met my message board friends and tried to barter for t-shirts while my teammates practiced their softball and the Mexicans played soccer in the field next to them.
We reached the stadium, ready for the game. We decide to sit on the Columbus side, along with teams from Mass., New Orleans, Phoenix, and Erie (the drunks who show up EVERY year...hilarious). New Orleans was pretty drunk as well, constantly yelling "Pass it to 15. Run a post!"
At halftime, the power decided to go out. After puns about Pensacola not being there and singing "This Little Light of Mine", it finally came on. We took pictures in the dark and some came out decent. It was also said that we should pull all of our trucks up to the field for lights in case it never came on. Yes, we are in God's country.
After the game, we all went to a place called Caberet 2 (so I'm guessing there's a 1 somewhere in Nashville). Inside are walls aligned with drag queen pictures. Fabulous. I get to the dance floor and proceed to "cut a rug". After a few songs, I realized I needed hydration or I was going to fall on my face and become coma-lized due to lack of sugar. Thanks Dana for noticing this.
I re-enter the dancefloor and maybe saw a pole. I doubt I went up there and danced but people say I did. Ok, maybe a little.
Finally the drag show started. I realized I could be a drag queen for Halloween. If I had a tiger costume with a wig, I could definitely be the dude who came out to the Lion King's music. He was rotund...and I'm rotund. He had no ass...and I have no ass. Perfect. Others came and went. Finally the show was over. Back to the dance floor.Other teams had filtered in by then. People who don't dance, danced all night (*ahem* Sarah).
At some point, Purple Rain came on. The stage (where the pole happened to be) had been rigged to rain. It was tempting to get up there because again, I needed hydration. However, I declined. My teammate, however, found it necessary to get on stage sans t-shirt with the other whores up there.
At the end of the night, 4am, Jack in da Box sounded good. Nothing like eating chicken before you go to bed. The only problem I had was waking up early to head home.
It's Tuesday and I'm still tired. Next year, we'll still take a trip to wherever this game is held. Hopefully I'll bring a chair next time.
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This past weekend I move out of my lame-ass apartment complex into a lame-ass convenant community. I guess it's going up the ladder. What sucked is this was during the first weekend of football season. Not only did I miss the first game...I also missed my buds moving help. My father and another almost died of heat exhaustion moving my king size mattress up some stairs...but it's up there.
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My brother is in a "Flaming Tables" match tonight. I won't be there as I am still moving stuff out of aforementioned lame-ass apartment. I am sure I'll get the full recap tomorrow morning...or mid-morning.
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I went to Career Day with two other Renegades last week: a pest control tech (big ups Dana!) and a probation officer (thanks Tricia). I had my own room to speak to five classes in 30 minute increments. Dana and Tricia shared their room. There's something hard about explaining a complex job to first graders. I brought material samples to show them what I do/work on...each class thought I brought them credit cards. The fifth graders were not very happy to be there and were not open to my wit and sarcasm.
Too bad I wasn't in the other room. I heard that one kid said "My brother has a probation officer. She a white lady. She nice." while another commented "Are you the popo for real?" as his friend said "Shhh..you not supposed to call them that to they face."
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I was recently asked to pick up breakfast one morning from Hardeezzzzzzzzzzz. Hardeezzzzzzzzzz is located along the strip of fast-food chains..sitting between Arby's and McDs. My cohort had asked for a cinnamon raisin biscuit. Just getting up out of bed, I drove the few short miles for the buttermilk goodness of Hardeezzzzzzzzz. This establishment is one the left hand side of the road, across a median. So I pulled a U and drove to the drive thru. I didn't see the cinnamon raisin biscuit on the menu, however I was sure something "cinnamon" was on it...I was hardly awake. I ordered my sausage and biscuit combo and asked for a cinnamon biscuit. Through the garbled speech I heard "We don't have any...we have cinnamon blasts" Alright, give me two. Surely this is what my cohort was speaking of.
I pull up to the window and pay. While I awaited my food, I noticed the job posting on the window. I was a little puzzled by the website address as it said nothing about Hardeezzzzz...I thought maybe it was a coporate address.
I speed off and end at my destination, slurping on my Dr. Pepper. I grabbed the bag and went inside of the house where I find my partner saying "So you went to McDonald's instead,eh?" No. He then pointed out "Well, you have a McDonald's bag and you are drinking from a McDonald's cup...so you must have beent to McDonald's." I argued that I went to Hardeezzzzzz and they must have ran out of their cups and bags...so McDonald's supplied them some extra. Then I looked at my receipt...sure enough...McDonald's.
I had passed the playground...stared at the menu...even saw the mcjobs website...and I swore I was at Hardeezzzzzzzz...
This should tell you people not to wake me up early and expect me to be aware of what I am doing before 8am...oh wait...it was 8.
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2006 Championship game blog (yes I moved it)
or all who were under a rock this weekend, the National Women's Football Association had their championship game in Pittsburgh, PA Saturday night. Being the dedicated player I am, I travelled with some teammates to witness the game between the DC Divas and the OK City Lightning. I decided I would include a soundtrack to this story, for the full effect.Started out leaving rather late Friday night for the eleven hour haul. We have a tendancy to travel into the wee hours which has it's challenges such as gas stations not being open at 4:30 am and hallucinations that the Cincinnati Reds baseball stadium is hosting a game at 3:30 am. Sweet tarts should be illegal.
The soundtrack starts with hitting Nashville around 11pm Friday night.
Wild Night - Van Morrison. We knew we were in for a long one but with my company, it would no doubt be fun.
Then it happened....
Radar Love - Golden Earring. Saucy gets a speeding ticket and pisses off the cop. So I pulled over to the left side of a four lane interstate. He didn't have to mouth off to me. I was pleasant if not really sweet. He informed me I can take my traffic school online now rather than pay my ticket and get 9 points on my record (unblemished one at that). He then says "Be careful and pay attention. There are signs everywhere that it's 55 around here." Sorry to keep up with the traffic sir. I was tempted to use "F* The Police" for this song by the way.
So after that...
Slow Ride - Foghat. I'm going slower now, thanks.
Back to the conversation. My buddy Char informs all of her father's brothers, including himself, are named Joe...well Joseph. They all go by their middle names. This is hilarious to me as I picture a house of 9 Joe's. She tells tales of Leather Joe, Butterknife Joe, etc.. Hence..
Walkaway Joe - Trisha Yearwood (which came on the radio a few times...ironical!! haha)
At this point, around 2 am, we are all giddy and hyped up on caffiene. Char then mentions her Unlce Joseph Munford. Being French-Canadian, Char pulls out the French version of his name...Mon Unc Munford..which sounds like a deaf person saying something like "mo'fo". We crack up for a long time with this one...leading to...
Voulez-Vous Couchez Avec Moi, C'est Soir - Patty Labelle. Sure it's really called Lady Marmalade but it's the only french song I know.
We hit Cincinnati and decide to get a room (not a bowtie,thanks). We tried to sleep for a few hours but to no avail. We left after roughly 5 hours. Thanks Quality Inn for boarding us next to a tire-changing place that opens early on Saturday morning! We leave in our pajamas...which means...
I Like My Women Just a Little On The Trashy Side - Confederate Railroad
Four hours later, we are finally in Pittsburgh. The drive was pretty and slow. Seriously, 55 mph speed limit on the interstate..geez.
We get there just in time to shower and head over to the pre-party. We were told this was to be at a roadhouse. I, picturing the lovely-coifed Swayze and cowboy boots, stroll in with my posse to see a fairly clean and decent pub. These yankees don't know the meaning of a roadhouse. We met some players from the Pittsburgh Passion and had a some great food.
There's a Tear In My Beer - Hank Williams Sr. - Cohorts of mine downed six beers in an hour and were happy to head over to the game feeling fine.
We get to the game to see some tailgaters. One in particular asked what team we were with. We said Alabama. We returned the question to the drunk girl and she answered "I don't know". Sweet.Drunk people are fun!!
There were teams from the north at the game. We were getting stares and comments like "Alabama? Wow!". I guess they thought we wouldn't make the trek up there. Don't they know who we are? Don't they know we will travel at a moments notice?
The game was fun. We met some players from other teams and I met some of my message board buddies. The most amazing part was people were bringing in liquor to this high school stadium. I'm talking coolers full of beer and liquor. Damn, we missed out on this opportunity.
The game featured songs during time-outs, so I must include them here.
Urgent - Foreigner. I somehow thought the song was titled "Murder". This song played when there was an injury.
Everybody Dance Now - C&C Music Factory (during which I did my best SNL cheerleader dance moves)
In The Navy - The Villiage People (I have no idea why this was played)
Girls Just Want To Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper Evidently this was from an 80s collection cd
We skipped the after-party to go catch some much needed sleep. We had to leave out early to return the following day.
Sunday morning, we headed back. Char, being the fast one, drove the majority of the way, making excellent time. I got behind the wheel somewhere in KY. Somehow we ended up and at Adult Bookstore, thanks to Char's eyesight.
Now, this is where it's funny. Sure it’s a bookstore, but as Char puts it "The front says book store but the book section is tiny while the video section is huuuge." Yes, that's how they trap you in. We gander around, gawking and making jokes.
On the way home, as I'm driving through Bowling Green, I had to set the cruise control because my buddy brought a DVD player. We decided to watch one of the purchased videos in the car just because we could. So, leaving it up to you, the song most appropriate for this was ...
Take It Like A Man - Suzy Bogguss
Got home around 6pm and was ready for bed. Had a fun trip but a little tired today. Hopefully the game next year will be closer but if not, I'm sure we'll drive wherever it is!
