Friday night, I invited all of the women I know (except any family members) to my Slumber Party. This wasnt your typical slumber party with eating, laughing, talking about boys, and prancing around in our underwear...wait a minute...yes it was. The only difference was items of an adult nature were sold. And the underwear vibrated. A professional consultant came to my humble abode and proceeded to enrich the lives of fourteen lucky women.
Let me start at the beginning. For all of you readers of my blog, you may remember the saleslady I accidentally hit in the head with a double-headed dildo. Yes, I finally booked my party with her. The theme to my party was sports; everyone was to come in some sporting garb. I, being Cheerleader, donned my Spartan Cheerleader outfit (Go Team). My place was festooned with football, baseball, NASCAR, and golf decorations. Yes, festooned. Soccer was not involved as I believe soccer is the devil. Finger foods were plentiful. And it was BYOB. Mercy was it ever...
My lady friends proceeded to show up, wearing football jerseys, golf attire, basketball outfits, and bandannas. Gotta love the sporty bandanna look ;)
As the food was being grazed and the alcohol and/or non-alcoholic drinks flowed, we all sat around, waiting for the BIG SHOW (no, not the wrestler). Professional Romance Enhancer Lady (PREL) proceeded to start the show off with small items such as key chains, kitty masks, playing cards (which she thought she was never getting back), and sensual oils. Everyone oohed and aaahed. There were some instruction books that were surprisingly not passed around when it got to certain people. This certain person read and read and read about *ahem* personal intimacy.
As the night continued, we took a brief intermission (no CC, there was not any music by Milli Vanilli being played much like your wrestling show). Everyone took in more and more food (pigs in a blanket, cheese tray, ham/turkey tray, cookies, chips/dip, etc)
As we returned, we had a game to play. The PREL picked Chara out of the group to come up in front of everyone. Chara, being the Mich Ultra drinker, had turned into Opie (her drinking alter-ego that wears blue checkered shirts and bears resemblance to Sheriff Andy Taylors sweet sweet son). She happily obliged. I had to chose her cohort to join her. Me, being the nice one of the bunch, picked Mich Ultra drinker Carly to help Chara with this game. Then the PREL asked the both of them to pick partners. Me being the Sauce, Chara scoops me up for her partner. Carla picked tan Deb to join her. What happens next is pure comedy.
Chara and Carly were both given condoms to unwrap and blow up. They looked puzzled at this challenge. Being the mechanical engineer, I stepped up and showed them how it was done. The prophylactics were soon filled with air and tied off. The two were then told to put this hot air balloon down their shorts. Deb and I laughed until we were told to bend over...yes, bend with a bum knee. The object of the game is to pop the condom/balloon by bumping uglies. So, me being the competitive one, bent over while my hips were grabbed to force the condom to pop.
This was harder than expected. Lots of adjusting of the junk took place. I even fell over once from all of the force. Dont worry, my knee is ok. Finally, Deb and Carly switched and in one quick move...BOOM. Deb and Carly were the winners.
After my head stopped hurting from all of laughing, we proceeded to witness the big fake penises being shown and passed around. Lots of buttons, beading, animal-like shapes, and vibrations were strewn about.
After the finale, PREL also talks about the vibrating underwear she has for sale. One of my teammates pulled them over her shorts and after one button was pushed, she doubled over laughing. Another teammate, we'll refer to her as Tiger, was reluctant to wear these until peer pressure made her give in.
All in all, this was one of the best times Ive ever had with my lady friends. We learned a lot about each other. I learned one can suck the jelly out of a donut, some dont know how to unwrap condoms, and also some new dating rules Ive never heard before. Ill probably have another Slumber Party this year. I made $80 this time being a hostess, who knows how much Ill make next time.
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